What tastes like beer, yet isn't alcoholic

[3speed]

I need a thick bitter drink that isn't alcoholic. Please don't recomend sperm to me.

[DJ-Ants]

carling

[jon, king of the a.v's]

kaliba, metal maryn gets pissed on it everytime he's drunk and its his round

[Sheriff John Bunell]

non alcoholic beer silly.

[Sheriff John Bunell]

non alcoholic beer silly.

the beer gets drunk, you don't.

DJ-Ants, he said non-alcoholic
.................................. Oh, Carling..... i see your point.

[3speed]

I just mixed my own concoction to replace beer with a non-alcoholic subsitute.

Ingredients:
Soap (melted)
Lemonade
1 Tea Bag

It tasted like shit

[progedge]

Try Supermalt or another malt drink. It's thick like Guiness mixed with molasses. Supermalt is tough to drink, but is full of B vitamins and is good for your digestive system.

Or try...

Cranberry juice. Very bitter, good for getting rid of phlegm.
Real lemonade. Not the fizzy stuff, but the bitter still drink.

Failing that you can never go wrong with a stiff pint of water. Drink 8 glasses a day, yo!

[disconat]

when you go out the best thing to drink is lime and soda water cos most places don't charge for soda water and so it is about 25p a half.

Whole Earth is a great drink. It's bitter and tastes just like coffee but has no caffine.

[DJ-Ants]

Perfect for washing down your tofu with..........

[The Minstrel]

told you before . piss